Hashtag my wrinkly face skin.
How many retirees does it take to turn on a food processor?
Hint: More than two.
This dude is adorable even when he's disgusting.
Remember that Christmas when I was lying on my sister's living room floor after brunch minding my own business and my Aunt Patti walked in and started kicking my ass in front of my whole family for no apparent reason and my life partner Bevan just sat there laughing and taking pictures?
Oh right, that was this Christmas.
Happy b-day, Jesus.