Bryan and Jess Do SF

My little brother Bryan and his female wife Jessica have been told by a medical professional to expect a tiny human of their creation to arrive sometime prior to Thanksgiving which is why they traveled to my home in California to partake in a pilgrimage that they and, from what I understand, other heterosexuals refer to as a “babymoon”, a vacation of sorts, usually in the woman’s second trimester, celebrating parentlessness one final time before a miniature person wreaks havoc upon their foreseeable futures.

During their “babymoon” we did things, neat things, such as:

  • run with gays

  • stuff ourselves with meat

  • eat dim sum

  • see Hamilton

  • hike Twin Peaks

  • consume burritos in Dolores Park

  • tour the dome at City Hall

  • lie with my domestic animals

It was v. (very) enjoyable and I was e. (extremely) sad to see them leave though possibly less sad than Ellie who, at one point during their stay, made off with one of Bryan’s running socks which we later found, unmolested, in our bed, Ellie sound asleep beside it.

Off the Market

Over a picnic dinner at my mom's bench tonight my baby brother Bryan asked his girlfriend Jess to straight-marry him forever and then shoved some finger jewels in her general direction and she was like okay sure I guess whatevs that sounds fine to me, or something very close to that probably, and now it looks like I'll be gettin' another sister soon.