Things That Suck

I made a list of some stuff that really pissed me off today. Said list is below.

  • Anti-gay lawmakers who use Grindr to find sex
  • Gun control, or lack thereof
  • How sometimes the iPhone's Music app doesn't work unless WiFi is enabled
  • Knee pain
  • Muni
  • My mom being gone
  • The NFL's war on women
  • San Francisco's war on homeless people
  • UPS
  • VRBO

Because the items on the list above are not what I would like to remember about this day, I have decided to swallow my pride and get all dog blog up in here yet again (and thanks a heap for that phrase, Laura).

At some point between three and four o'clock this morning Bevan and I were awakened by faint yelps from the foot of our bed. Patches was crying. Because I was half asleep and because I'd never heard her make those noises before, Bevan had to explain to me that she was having a nightmare. He said that given her past he wasn't surprised, which broke my heart. We coaxed Patches up to the head of the bed and took turns scratching behind her ears and speaking to her in those super gross, high-pitched, humans-sucking-helium voices that I hate but can't help until she fell back to sleep. I fell back to sleep a little while later feeling pretty lucky for all three of us.

This Post Is a Little Bit about My Mom but Mostly about Grindr

My lovely mother shared something on her personal blog yesterday that I had originally posted here and a not-so-small number of her friends commented on it saying how beautiful it was and then made their way from her site to this one, which of course means that, the laws of nature and physics and my especially awkward life being what they are, the next pre-scheduled post in my queue had to be one about Grindr (illicit photos included). At any rate, I know I could have easily rescheduled the porny post, but now that I've breached the subject I should probably just proceed as planned.

Every so often one far-away friend of mine sends me screenshots of conversations he has with men on Grindr as a way of keeping me up to speed on his love life. The conversation below is a recent favorite of mine for a number of reasons, one of which being the response he didn't end up sending.

I think it's important to the history of this short post to mention that I was on a flight from Chicago to San Francisco last week when this screenshot arrived, front and center, clear as day, on my laptop via iMessage. I really hope that the middle-aged woman and her husband with whom I shared a row enjoyed their United Airlines in-flight meal of egg salad sandwiches and a side of metal cock ring.