I have a thing about flying. And that thing is I hate it. Like hate hate it. Like extra large, maximum strength, ten million horsepower hate it. Some people fuss about the air quality or the food or the seat sizes, but I'm cool with all that. No, my beef with flying is a little bit different. My beef with flying is that I don't trust the wings to not break off while I'm sitting in a chair six miles above the earth. Because that shit happens. Probably. Anyway, facts are not the point. The point is that flying is the worst and I should have never been allowed to see Denzel Washington's new plane crash movie Flight last night.

I am never flying again.

Until December.