Look the Part

The softball team on which I am a member lost its season opener yesterday morning in an undeniably one-sided affair. While it's true that our fielding was dismal and our hitting shoddy, I can't help but place the blame for our unwin on something entirely more integral to victory than catching or batting—uniforms.

In an attempt to boost our looks and thus, our level of play, I have taken it upon myself to add to our unimpressive costumes a punch of flair befitting of our subtly intimidating moniker.