I monitor Trending Topics and I send Direct Messages. I tweet and I retweet. I follow and I am followed.
For those of you yet unfamiliar with the fastest growing social networking service on the World Wide Web, Twitter enables its users to stay connected via 140-character messages known as tweets, an example of which I've provided below.
Although countless Tweeple utilize Twitter for the sole purpose of tracking their favorite celebrities, I use the service to peruse vital news headlines, bond with my comrades and, well, track my favorite celebrities.
Today, Michael Ian Black, an American actor and comedian best-known for his roles in Ed and Wet Hot American Summer, took time out of his demanding work schedule to handpick several dozen of his one and a half million followers and unabashedly ridicule them.
Appalled, I promptly shot Mr. Black a tweet.
Needless to say, my request was ignored.
Though I was miffed that a D-list celebrity had the audacity not to make a fool out of me in front of the entire Twitter community, my pain quickly abated when I discovered that someone else had paid me some mind.
While I realize that Fart Robot is an actual person who spends his time searching for tweets about farting and pooping, I don't care.
FART ROBOT APPROVES.
And for me, that will always be enough.