Jet Set

In less than two days, Jesus' dad will embark on his once-a-year reindeer-powered trek across the globe to deliver iPods and Tickle Me Elmo dolls to kids everywhere. Naturally, that means that a healthy gaggle of my friends will be spending the next two days camped out on the tacky blue carpet of O'Hare International Airport waiting for Mother Nature's menstrual migraine to subside so they can journey back to Boston and Austin and Michigan.

Never one to leave my friends mal-entertained, especially during the holidays, I've taken time out of my demanding work schedule to accommodate their inconvenient situations by keeping them company via text, tweet and instant message. As a way of monitoring which friends I can stop being awesome to, I've been plotting their destinations on a Google Map once they've arrived home. Below are the mapping results thus far.

Also never one to leave myself mal-entertained, I've taken time out of my demanding work schedule to find out if it would be possible to journey, via 1997 Ford Escort, to each of my friends' hometowns to join their families in celebration between now and the start of the work day on Monday. Below is the least hard route I could find.

Based on my slender time frame, it would appear that blowing by all of my friends' houses over Christmas break might prove to be a task too stiff for even me to undertake.