For those of you who don't attend The University of New York University, I'd like to give you the 4-1-1 on what you're missing. This particular tale is 100% (well, close to) true and happened to have happened on Tuesday during my first ever Major Playwrights: Caryl Churchill class.

The scene: a quaint, well-lit classroom on the 4th floor of the Silver Center. 35 students, 1 professor.

As previously mentioned, 35 students attended the class, only 30 desks existed. As the (Ahmm...) less serious scholars trekked tardily into a room of occupied desks, they looked blankly at the professor who looked blankly back and said, in an ultra-thick British (or German) accent, "Pull up a windowsill." (Yes, 5 students sat in the windows. Not a good thing considering recent events involving unhappy NYU students and un-close-to-the-ground windows recently garnered NYU the nickname Suicide U).

(Side note) Actual NYU Nickname: The Fighting Violets (like the flower).

At any rate, after all were settled in, introductions were made.

(WARNING: Partial falsity to follow)

I, appreciating hilarity as much as the next guy, introduced myself as someone who thought they were attending a lecture about Carl (not Caryl) Churchill, Winston's gay little brother. Ten to twenty hours of deep, deep laughter ensued…

Following introductions, a video consisting entirely of one pair of human lips speaking to fast to understand played for 20 consecutive minutes. Tragically, I spent the same 20 minutes yanking and tugging at an annoying string that had come loose on my shorts, missing the movie in its entirety.

A 2 hour discussion followed, in which I had a difficult time participating (yup, another loose string). The highlight of the discussion came when one person interpreted the lips as "a human ass" and the lip's words as "diarrhea of the mouth." (I, incidentally, failed to make the connection.)

Although I found the class both stimulating and enjoyable and look forward to next Tuesday’s action-packed event, I somehow managed to end the class standing dangerously close to the window's edge...coincidence?