Singing! Dancing! Paper!

There exists in existence a live, unauthorized musical parody of The Office and last night B, Sid and I trekked uptown to The Jerry Orbach Theater to watch it and as of this moment I’m still unclear about what caused me more enjoyment, the show itself or the look of pure glee on Sid’s face during it.

Also, did I mention that B and Sid joined me in New York yesterday?

Oh.

Well, they did.

Will Never Last

I was lying in bed mainlining pressed juice and binge-watching The Office on Comedy Central while hosting a fever in my body at the Element Austin Downtown earlier today when a memory surfaced that granted me a grin.

One evening several years ago myself, my dad and my brother Bryan were cackling like idiots to an episode of The Office in the living room of my parents' condo when my mom entered.

Mom: What are you laughing at?

Me (gesturing to the TV): The Office.

My mom went quiet as a scene unfolded in which Jim played the "Hot and Cold" game with Dwight's desk, which had been relocated to the men's restroom.

Mom (rolling her eyes): This show will never last.

As she walked out of the room the three of us looked at one another and did our best to hold back smiles, none of us having the heart to tell her that "this show" was then in its seventh successful season.

My dear mother was perfect, even if her pop culture predictions were not.

I'll Miss You (Again), Dunder Mifflin

B, Sid and I finally finished watching all nine seasons of The Office earlier this week. I'd already seen most of the episodes with Roommate Matthew in our Lincoln Park apartment back when the show was still on the air, but I started re-watching it a few months ago after making Sid check out a clip of Mindy Kaling in the series' second episode and then just never stopped.

The Office has always been a fave of mine, but seeing it with B and Sid (and Buddy and Patches) next to me made it more meaningful, maybe because B's the kind of person who cries at the parts that are supposed to make you cry and Sid would end each episode with enthusiastic questions and critiques about each characters' decisions and motives, as if her adamancy could've changed the outcome somehow. I guess re-watching The Office after spending so many more years of my life in one was a good reminder to try and enjoy work and my co-workers a little bit more, because so much of life really does happen there, even if, in the immortal words of Darryl from the warehouse, most days all you wanna do is leave.

At the end of the final episode, just before the credits rolled, most of the originals who'd stayed for the run of the series (except Angela, Stanley and Toby) signed off with a last talking head interview (Pam got two). All of the interviews were pitch-perfectly tailored to each character and made me smile (and B cry) so damn hard, but a few stood out as ones that I needed to store here for safe-keeping. Those few are below in the order that they happened. I know Bevan won't read them because he never reads the quotes that I post here, but I think they're completely wonderful, especially when paired with "I Will Remember You" as performed by Andy Bernard.

Pam: I didn't watch the whole documentary. After a few episodes, it was too painful. I kept wanting to scream at Pam. It took me so long to do so many important things. It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been. Jim was five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It'd be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I'm a tragic person. I’m really happy now. But it would just...just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself "Be strong. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn't that long."

Andy: I spent so much of my time here at Dunder Mifflin thinking about my old pals, my college a cappella group. The weird thing is now, I'm exactly where I wanna be. I got my dream job at Cornell and I'm still just thinking about my old pals. Only now they're the ones I made here. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them. Someone should write a song about that.

Erin: How did you do it? How did you capture what it was really like? How we felt and how made each other laugh and how we got through the day? How did you do it? Also, how do cameras work?

Creed: It all seems so very arbitrary. I applied for a job at this company because they were hiring. I took a desk at the back because it was empty. But no matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home.

Phyllis: I'm happy that this was all filmed so I can remember everyone and what we did. I worked for a paper company all these years and I never wrote anything down.

Jim: I sold paper at this company for twelve years. My job was to speak to clients on the phone about quantities and types of copier paper. Even if I didn’t love every minute of it, everything I have, I owe to this job. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.

Pam: I thought it was weird when you picked us to make a documentary. But all in all I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?


THE AFTER POST

I'd like to give a special shoutout to officequotes.net for their diligent quote-taking and also to YouTube for having handy the string quartet version of "Sweet Child O' Mine" that played at Dwight and Angela's wedding. I listened to it at least twenty-five times while writing this post.

Sunday Night Journal

Alan, one of Bevan's lifelong besties, arrived in SF from Washington, D.C. last night so the three of us grabbed dinner at Catch in the Castro and then headed to Midnight Sun for a nightcap which we enjoyed while hanging out with Sidney's hot principal and his hot husband. We, Alan and B and I, then went home in a Lyft, had some wine on the couch and hit the hay.

This morning I laid in bed and caught up on some VITM (Very Important Text Messaging). When I finally got up I foam-rolled my legs and ate cold pizza before joining Alan and Bevan in Bevan's car, which we rode to the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco to watch Sidney's fourth grade basketball team beat another fourth grade basketball team 7-5. We all ate lunch at a restaurant in the lobby after the game and then returned home to watch several episodes of The Office, one of which contained perhaps my favorite two-ish minutes of scripted television ever.

After having a moment to the part of The Office that I embedded above these words (yes B cried, obviously), the four of us went to Duboce Park to play two-on-two basketball in the rain. Sid and I beat Alan and B pretty handily and that was very fun but not exactly fair because, well, youth. We said goodbye to Alan after basketball (he had a dinner thing in Half Moon Bay) and hello to my pal Roscoe who's visiting San Francisco from Los Angeles, but whom I knew during my Chicago days. Roscoe came over for dinner and left a little bit ago because he's got a 6:30am flight tomorrow.

Bevan is currently pressuring me to close my laptop computer and join him in bed, so I'm just gonna leave this post just as it is and go do that.

I hope this week doesn't suck.

This Is My Life Now

Following a rough four-and-a-half-miler through Golden Gate Park during which a ten-year-old with a soccer ball painted on her cheek blew by me as if I were running in the opposite direction, B, Sid and I headed to the mall to shop. On the way Sid and I sat in the back so I could explain all nine seasons of The Office to her because I showed her a clip of Mindy Kaling from season one earlier this week and now she's intent upon watching all two hundred and one episodes, which I am completely on board with.

While at the mall B ended up purchasing one long sleeve t-shirt (pink) from Uniqlo and Sid settled on two pairs of jeans from Gap Kids. I went in another direction entirely and spent my dough on a bacon and salami pizza. Upon our return home we watched season two of The Office, then Bevan and I made the dopest seafood nachos. Now it's nearly ten o'clock so I should probably call it a night because I guess this is my life now.