Pretty Please

I'm currently dunking Tostitos Scoops! into a tin can of room temperature Fritos Brand Jalapeño Cheddar Flavored Cheese Dip while lying on the bed in my hotel room after a night out with Evan whom I grew up across the street from and Jenna whom I grew up on the same block as and it's surreal to think that twenty-plus years later we're still friends and also that I'm old enough to say that something in my life happened twenty-plus years ago.

Go slower, Existence.

Pretty please?