We're Having Salmon

We were up and at 'em before eight o'clock on this glorious day of not work because a trio of lesbians are coming over later today to join B and I in the consumption of mucho champagne and absolutely-not-turkey (I think Bevan's serving salmon) and we're not at all prepared.

Because I can't cook I've been relegated to cleaning duty. If you happen to be our downstairs neighbor, that ungodly banging noise is our busted-ass Roomba trying to get out of the guest bathroom. My apologies. He'll be done soon.

In addition to my role as Head Cleaner I nominated me for DJ of Today. Since nobody else voted I won in a landslide and my first order of business was to sign an executive order granting me the power to play Bea Miller's "brand new eyes" on a loop until our guests arrive. It's the theme song to Wonder which we saw yesterday. It's a very muy bien movie.

As a special treat to myself I lit every single scented candle that we own and am pretending that my dance-cleaning is taking place on the inside of a gingerbread house.

Lastly, today's the first day I'm allowed to drink alcohol since my insurance company paid a stranger good money to cut half my face off last week. If my own bottle of Sauvy B. isn't a reason to be thankful, I don't know what is.