I awoke this morning to find B squinting at his Twitter feed. He looked at me and then back at his phone and I could tell something bad had happened and that he didn't want me to know about it just yet, not first thing, not before sleep had fallen away completely, but I asked him what was going on and he told me ("More than fifty people dead so far," he said.).
I can't put into words how little sense I can make of the world right now.
I texted my dad a little later in the morning, hoping to gain any sort of perspective on what had unfolded in Las Vegas last night because he's the steadfast one in my life, my go-to when there's no gravity left and I'm starting to drift away, but even he was too shaken to reel me back in.