I once rode behind five-time Olympic gold medalist swimmer Nathan Adrian on an escalator at San Francisco International Airport and the very impressive muscles that I'd seen bared on my television set were also very impressive in real life even though on the aforementioned airport escalator he was wearing a sweater over a t-shirt as opposed to almost nothing, so the very next day I joined a gym with a pool in it and started swimming several times a week. That was almost six months ago and my body still mostly resembles soggy lettuce but I think maybe that's beside the point.
My friend Tommy, who swam competitively when he was a kid, asked me why I was suddenly, for the first time in my life, swimming as a form of exercise, and when I told him it was because of my Nathan-Adrian's-body-in-a-sweater-at-the-airport experience he immediately (and justifiably) started teasing me. That was almost half a year ago but he hasn't forgotten about it. In fact, he mocked me about it via text message just last night.
It doesn't bother me though. In fact, I appreciate that whenever I feel lazy AF and am about to crap out on a trip to Fitness SF in favor of watching Runaway Bride on the couch with the dogs and a bag of CHEETOS® Crunchy Cheddar Jalapeño Cheese Flavored Snacks again I just think to myself 'What would Nathan Adrian do?' and then I go swim in a pool.
He'd fucking swim in a pool.
Imagine if Jesus looked that good in a sweater.