Kindly Disregard Whatever Shit I Talked About Kids Yesterday and Please Ring Me Up for Five of Them Immediately

Even completely ludicrous and thoroughly unwarranted compliments from ten-year-olds who worship you for absolutely no reason that you can think of can make you feel overly good about yourself. Take, for example, the conversation Sidney and I had while watching Rafael Nadal play tennis in the first round of the Australian Open on my laptop tonight.

Sid (pointing at Nadal): Could you beat him?

Me: Not even close. He's amazing. I wouldn't even get a point.

Sid: I thought you said he was getting old.

Me: I meant old in tennis years. In real years he's younger than me.

Sid: I still think you could beat him.

Me: I promise you I couldn't.

Sid: I think you could. First of all, he'd be distracted by your bod.

A pause.

Me: Yeah, you’re probably right. I could take him.