I captured the above FaceTime screenshot one year ago today when my nephew Harrison was new to the world and so fragile and the fact that his tiny neck could hold up his slightly-less-tiny head, however briefly, seemed like a miracle to me.
Also on this day one year ago, my mom penned the bravest entry on her blog.
Over the past three weeks as I've been recovering from my feeding tube surgery I've also lost my ability to type and I feel like I've lost a best friend. I'm completely healed from my surgery, but now I'm trying to find myself again. I fell into a deep, dark hole for a while. Like most of us when we are faced with a difficult situation we try to solve the problem, but for three weeks I couldn't even imagine a solution.
After some major soul-searching and encouragement from my family and friends I feel confident again. You know that Carole King song that says "You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all love in your heart"? That sort of stuck in my head and it seems to be working for now.
I wish I could tame into words what I'm feeling about those two moments now, one year later, but this week was a long one and Bevan and I had a fight at dinner and it's late in my neck of the world, so I'm gonna let Kurt Vonnegut tame them for me.
"Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why."