Chad and the boys headed back to Texas this morning which means tonight is the first night since I've been home that I'm not having a sleepover in the living room in front of the Christmas tree with Cole and Peyton and my mom. In fact, my dad and I took the Christmas tree down this afternoon while my mom watched from the couch and as I was getting ready to unplug the lights for the last time I looked at her and winked and said something thoughtless like "another beautiful tree" and pulled the plug and my mom started to cry and didn't stop for a long time and again I thought about Jonathan Tropper's words:
"You never know when it will be the last time you'll see your father, or kiss your wife, or play with your little brother, but there's always a last time. If you could remember every last time, you'd never stop grieving."
Anyway, I wanted to write those two things down—the sleepovers in the living room with my mom and my nephews (Cole at twelve and Peyton at ten) and also the part about the Christmas tree—because I never want to forget them.