Today I Made Money Tying My Tennis Shoes, or I Haz Stock Market

I know very little about Stock Market. In fact, I know less than very little. What's the word for that, for less than very little? Is it nano? I think it's nano. Okay then, I know nano about Stock Market. I know that there was a bad day about it in the 1920s and I know that there's an app about it on my iPhone that I can't delete and I know that I've seen "Boiler Room" two times (once a long time ago and once last summer). I know that Facebook and Google and Twitter do it. I know that some of my friends do it. I know that the old lady from "You've Got Mail" does it ("I'm very rich. I bought Intel at six!"). Wait, can you do Stock Market? Alright fine, Facebook and Google and Twitter and some of my friends and the old lady from "You've Got Mail" have Stock Market. Anyway, today I too became a haver of Stock Market.

Last week Virgin America (I'm referring to the airline, not to the nickname everyone called me throughout all of high school and three semesters of college) sent me a message asking if I wanted to buy some stock early because I have Big Gulp Super Size status on their airplanes as a result of putting many dollars American on a credit card of theirs for my work job last year. I had never done stock market things before (see above paragraph), so I thought a little bit about it and did one Google search about it and asked a friend who knows words like "Dow Joan" and "Ross IRA" about it and ended up buying a couple of stockz (I'm pretty sure the plural of stock ends with a 'z'). Then this morning I dragged the Stockz app out of the "What Are These For" folder on my phone which also houses the Compass and Health and Passbook apps and watched the numbers next to the letters "VA" change every few minutes. I think I made about three dollars while tying my shoes, which I think is about time considering I've been doing it for free every day since I was thirteen.

Anyway, I got Stock Market today. So, um, friend me on it?