So, James Bond is bi.

As in bisexual.


There's a scene in the latest Bond flick in which Javier Bardem's character seductively strokes the chest of Daniel Craig's character and instead of doing fighting things to him, Daniel Craig's character just sits there before calmly asking Javier Bardem's character, "What makes you think this is my first time?"

See? Totes bisexual. Also, let's add that scene to more movies. And while we're at it, let's cast a Bond boy in the next film. I vote Clooney. Oh, and I know I was supposed to leave the theater thinking about guns and Miss Moneypenny's moneybags, but I could not stop musing over the cut of Bond's suits. They're like, painted on. By Jesus.

Oh, and I didn't order the soft pretzel bites after all. Or the cheese dipping sauce. I got chicken tenders. With ranch. YOLO?