No 'E' in Tabloid

In a season six episode of Sex and the City, Smith Jerrod, Stanford and Stanford's then-boyfriend Marcus pose for a photograph while dining out in the city one night. And because Smith Jerrod was a famous actor and Stanford's then-boyfriend Marcus was a famous Broadway dancer and Stanford was just a regular human person, when the aforementioned photograph found its way onto the pages of a gossip magazine some days later, the caption read "Smith Jerrod cozies up to Broadway dancer Marcus Adant and unidentified older gay gentleman."

"...unidentified older gay gentleman."

Ouch. Poor Stanny. Poor regular human Stanny.

Anyway, I referenced that particular episode of Sex and the City because I attended an event with a well-known politician friend of mine recently and, like the men of Sex and the City, our photograph found its way into a local gossip column.

And I, like Stanford, was a victim of misidentification.

That's right. They left a letter out of my name. A whole letter. The entire thing. The entire fourth letter of my first name. And it's the 'e' nonetheless. The 'e' that fits so perfectly between the 'r' and the 'y'. The 'e' that swoops and curls so nicely with a pen. The 'e' with the most tiles in Scrabble. And the most letters in 'pee'. But you know what, I'm not upset. No, not I. Because it's a totally acceptable mistake. I mean, honestly, how in the world could they have known that I, a regular human person, spelled my name with an 'e'? What's that you say? I could have worn a tag of some sort, a tag containing the complete and proper spelling of my first name?Goddammit, why did I not do that thing? WHY?!? Wait, what's that you say?

Oh.

Well, I guess it could have been worse. Actually, I'm pretty lucky that the caption didn't read "...unidentified younger gay gentleman with the gigantic right ear."