Keywords

Blogger, the web logging platform that I use to publish the inconsequential bits of drivel found on this web log, offers a Blogger Stats feature that tracks site statistics including daily visitors (hardly any), the length of a visitor's stay (not very long) and how a visitor wound up here (accidentally).

In addition to page views and traffic trends, the Blogger Stats feature also details which search engine keywords have detoured World Wide Web surfers to this site. Understandably, a large number of accidental visits can be attributed to how closely the spelling of my name mirrors that of another person, such as 'corey linbert' or 'cori lampert.' Less understandable, however, is how someone might find their way here after typing 'corey spice in bedroom' or 'belly button rash' into Google, both of which have, in fact, happened.

Regardless of why a specific keyword draws someone here, after perusing the hundreds of search keywords responsible for much of the traffic on The Web Log of Corey Lambert, I have selected a handful of my favorites and ranked them in a "top five" list.

Have joy.

Top Five Search Keywords That Prove I'm Accurately Represented Online

5. 'fart robot'

Funnily enough, of the nearly one million pages called up when 'fart robot' is typed into the Google Web Search bar, this web log is ranked fifth. Although I'm honored to hold such a coveted position in what is obviously one of Google's most distinguished keyword pairings, the most humbling aspect of my ranking is the fact that I'm ahead of a slew of prestigious Internet destinations including a video called "Hand Farting the National Anthem" and a web log post from toplessrobot.com entitled "Teenage Mutant Hand-Fart Ninja." 

4. 'homosexual dolphins' 

Apparently Google Web Search considers my web log an authority on one of history's most debated questions: Are dolphins really gay sharks? 

3. 'american log fart' 

Just ahead of Hulu's "American Dad!" episode "Fart-Break Hotel" and smellypoop.com, Yahoo! Search lists The Web Log of Corey Lambert as the number one place to visit when searching 'american log fart.' Clearly I've cornered the flatulent firewood from the United States market. 

2. 'sister car fart' 

In addition to my web log, Bing's list of other web destinations that traffic in sisters breaking wind in automobiles includes poopreport.com and 1000awesomethings.com, which catalogues "Hearing a stranger fart in public" as its 951st most awesome thing.

1. 'who is corey lambert'

Although no search engine completely answers a question that I've posed to myself each and every morning for more than two decades, I think Dogpile Web Search comes exceptionally close with their suggestion of the following image: