Representatives from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences took to a podium somewhere in Hollywood in the wee hours of yesterday morning to drop their list of 2010 Academy Award nominees into the overeager jaws of columnists and critics around the globe.
While the aforementioned columnists and critics gnawed on the most pressing questions brought about by the Academy's picks ("Wait, isn't "Winter's Bone" an Eskimo porn flick?"), I compiled, for the second consecutive year, a heap of utterly useless information that will undoubtedly be of absolutely no consequence to anyone, myself included.
The Films I Saw
Eat Pray Love
Get Him to the Greek
Ghost Writer, The
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
How to Train Your Dragon
Iron Man 2
It's Kind of a Funny Story
Kids Are All Right, The
King's Speech, The
Love and Other Drugs
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Sex and the City 2
Social Network, The
Toy Story 3
Waiting for "Superman"
Total Viewing Time: 2.48 days or 59.6 hours or 3,578 minutes
Average Film Length: 111.8 minutes
Theater (Standard) – 22
Home (Rental) – 10
Free Screenings: 4 ("Black Swan," "Iron Man 2," "It's Kind of a Funny Story," "The Losers")
Total Golden Globe Nominations: 44 (10 wins)
Total Academy Award Nominations: 67
Animated Films: 2 ("How To Train Your Dragon," "Toy Story 3")
Chick Flicks: 3 ("Eat Pray Love," "Sex and the City 2," "Valentine's Day")
Comic Book/Fantasy/Science Fiction Films: 5.5 ("Black Swan," "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1," "Inception," "Iron Man 2," "Kick-Ass," "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World")
Documentary Films: 1 ("Waiting for "Superman"")
Films I Saw More than Once: "Easy A," "The Social Network," "Valentine's Day"
Films I Will (Hopefully) Never See Again: "Sex and the City 2"
Most Important Film That Nobody Saw: "Waiting for "Superman""
Pleasantly Surprised: "The Ghost Writer," "Remember Me"
Largely Disappointed: "Eat Pray Love"
Favorite Male Performance: Geoffrey Rush, "The King's Speech"
Favorite Female Performance: Tie (Emma Stone, "Easy A" and Natalie Portman, "Black Swan")
Favorite Animated Performance: Ken (voiced by Michael Keaton), "Toy Story 3"
Guilty Pleasure Performance: Zach Galifianakis, "It's Kind of a Funny Story"
Best Performer Nobody Remembers: Rebecca Hall, "Please Give" and "The Town"
Favorite Line Delivered By An Actor: "We lived on farms and then we lived in cities and now we're gonna live on the Internet." Sean Parker, "The Social Network"
Favorite Line Delivered By An Actress: "I need your observations like I need a dick in my ass!" Nic, "The Kids Are All Right"
Best Conversation: The Opening Sequence, "The Social Network"
Best In-Movie Song (Cover): Tie ("You Always Hurt the One You Love" as performed by Ryan Gosling, "Blue Valentine" and "Under Pressure" as performed by the cast of "It's Kind of a Funny Story")
Best Movie Montage: Andy Grows Up, "Toy Story 3"
Films I'd Liked to Own: "Easy A," "It's Kind of a Funny Story," "The Social Network"
Films I'd Like to Burn: "Sex and the City 2"
The Mac and Bren MacGuff Award (Best Movie Parents): Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson, "Easy A"
The "Titanic" Award (Worst Movie To See With Your Parents): "Love and Other Drugs"