Evidently, majoring in English and being a good Scrabble player are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, so trampled on is my spirit that, following my sixth straight loss, I forced myself to enter a pickup game with a stranger in the hopes of regaining even a morsel a self-worth. Two hours and a fistful of my own hair later and a "You gud speeler fur American" message in my chat box was all I had to show for it.
To date, my personal win-loss record is a dreary 1-7, including one defeat at the hands of a childhood buddy who still counts "Where's Waldo" as the best book he's ever read.
Funnily enough, the lone bright spot in my Words With Friends experience came this evening when I managed to aptly describe my performance by placing the words "JUICY", "SHIT" and "STRAINS" relatively close to one another on the same board.