Humorous Humans

As previously articulated, I live in the constant company of humorous humans.

Below is but a sampling of the mouth-watering merriment served up by those nearest and dearest to me in recent days.

Married Mike: "My toilet looks like it's been attacked with brown Silly String. What did I eat?" 

Me: "Yuck!" 

Married Mike: "No, that's not it." 

Me: "So, Ricky Martin…" 

Part-Time Roommate Liz: "Umm, Enrique Iglesias." 

Me: "Wait, Enrique Iglesias is gay now, too?"

Part-Time Roommate Liz: "Oh, sorry. I thought we were just naming Latin pop artists." 

Friend Jose: "I just spent two hours on Chatroulette." 

Me: "How was it?" 

Friend Jose: "Fun. My roommate snuck up behind me with an ax and chased me away. Then we switched." 

Me: "That's hilarious."

Friend Jose: "Yeah. Plus, the chicks love it." 

Substitute Teacher Friend Evan: "I'm thinking about showing the new "Sassy Gay Friend" video to my class." 

Me: "You can't. He uses the word 'bitch' and talks about black wieners."

Substitute Teacher Friend Evan: "Core, I'm teaching high school now. We talk about black wieners during the morning announcements." 

Me: "Are you dating anybody right now?" 

Former Co-Worker Beth: "Well, there is this one guy..." 

Me: "What's his name?"

Former Co-Worker Beth: "I'm not sure. All I know is that I have a violent urge bend him over and French braid his rattail."