Late last night, after a quiet evening of take-out sushi, Netflix and a series of unintended catnaps, 2009 and I parted ways. Although Calendar said it was inevitable, around midnight Panic crept into my room anyway.
"What if 2010 sucks?" I blurted. "And what if Adventure and Good Fortune and Luck don’t like him as much as they like you?"
"You'll be fine, Corey," 2009 answered me. "Trust me."
"Trust me?" I asked. "That's it? That’s all I get after a you together? Aren't you Years supposed to be wise or something?"
"Corey, you will be fine. Future seems to think that 2010 has great potential. Plus, he's golfing buddies with Summer, so there's a good chance you'll actually get some beach time this year. Sorry about that, by the way. Winter is an old friend of mine. Plus, he makes good dips."
"That's okay," I said. "He isn't so bad. And there's nothing more essential to a party than a good dip. But what about you? What will you do? Where will you go?"
"You don't have to worry about me, Corey," 2009 chuckled. "History sets us Years up with a pretty good retirement plan. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my days in History with my family. I hear it's beautiful there. Crowded and a bit fuzzy, but beautiful. You remember my family, the 2000s, don't you?"
"2004 is pretty vague, but otherwise, yeah, I remember them."
"Oh that 2004," 2009 said with a smirk. "He's got a reputation among my siblings as a bit of a drinker."
"I'll say," I said with a smile. "But in his defense, we were in college."
"It's nearly midnight," 2009 said, checking his watch. "I better get going. Please don't worry, Corey. Everything will be fine in 2010. It's the Year that you finally find your..."
"Find my what?" I yelled. "What will I finally find in 2010?"
But 2009 was gone.
Although I didn't see him enter, I knew 2010 had arrived because I saw his toothbrush next to mine on the bathroom sink when I was getting ready for bed. I didn't bother getting to know him though. It was late and I'd just said "goodbye" to one of the best Years I'd ever known. I hopped into bed and welcomed my dear friend Sleep.
Around eight o'clock this morning, 2010 shook me awake with the cruel melody of my friend Nate heaving the contents of his New Year’s Eve into my toilet. Although I was thankful that I wasn't the one tossing my cookies, I didn’t appreciate 2010's tone. Right then and there I decided to sit him down and explain a few things.
"Look, I've known your family for a while now, 2010, and you come from good stock. If you're anything like your siblings, in addition to making a buttload of mistakes and saying things we wish we could take back, we're going to share a lot of adventures, meet a ton of cool people and learn a thing or two along the way. All I ask is that you treat my loved ones with respect, keep your groceries off of my shelf and do whatever you have to do to stay tight with Good Health. Oh, and cut ties with Recession. That dude is kind of a dick. Having said all that, welcome to my life, 2010. Oh, and happy birthday."