Celebrity

"I don't mean to interrupt," she said, tapping my father on the shoulder. "But you look just like Harrison Ford. Has anyone ever told you that before?"

My father had, in fact, been told that on more than one occasion.

It may seem silly that I keep a ready account of such an unimportant memory, but it remains in the lockbox of my mind for one reason.

I have no celebrity counterpart.

My father struts around town in his Indiana Skywalker skin and I, his beloved son, possess no celebrity match.

In an attempt to silence my whining, a friend once uploaded a photo of me onto a website that automatically matches you with your celebrity look-a-like.

To gauge the complexity of said website, my buddy's photo (below) garnered matches that included Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson and Benji.

"I'm Sorry, Your Photo Yielded No Results," was the only match my photo garnered.

Not once has a stranger taken it upon herself to say to me, "Sir, in this light you very closely resemble a young Brad Pitt."

Or, "Wow Mister, you should move to Hollywood immediately and fill the void left by the death of George Clooney's face double."

Not once.

Never.

Well, until this weekend, that is.

While playing beer pong on Saturday January 27, 2007 at 9:14 pm CST, an opponent paused in the middle of her windup, looked me in the face, and said, "I got it! I know who you look like!"

"WHO?!?" I replied calmly.

"Have you ever seen Fantastic Four?" she asked.

"Yes," I said sorely, anticipating her answer to be The Thing (pictured below).

"You look just like that fire dude."

"The Human Torch?" I asked meekly.

"Yah! That's his name. The Human Torch," she answered, tossing the ball and missing the nearest cup by an arm's length.

"Oh, well, yah. I mean, uhm, the Human Torch. Yeah. People tell me that all the time."