In Which My Taste Buds Had an Orgasm

A new champagne bar called The Riddler opened up in Hayes Valley a few months back and Marf joined B and I there tonight to give it a test whirl.

The bubbles were, of course, dope (I mean come on, it's like alcoholic confetti) and the free all-you-can-eat popcorn was so far up my alley that I barely had to swallow it, but the best part of the evening was by far the touching of my taste buds to a tater tot waffle covered in smoked salmon and caviar. Sure, it's probably the douchiest-sounding dish since $4 toast and I would have never agreed to pay $22 for it if I weren't splitting it with others, but holy fucking shit it was surely the best new thing I've had in my mouth hole since some genius started stuffing burritos with French fries.

I'm not gonna say go try it because the six people who read this blog don't even live in San Francisco, but the least you can do is be happy for me.

A Comprehensive Status Report on the Comprehensive List of Things That I Would Like to Do on My Day off Today

To ensure that I didn't squander my (incredibly well-deserved) day off from work today I typed out a list of the things that I wanted to do during my extra hours of freedom. The status of each of the items on that list is below.

PET A DOG - DONE
I sleep with two dogs every night so I checked this one off like six seconds after I woke up. I'm kind of a firm believer in attainable goals.

GO ON A RUN - DONE
Please see below.

EAT BACON, PREFERABLY AS A SIDE OR IN A SANDWICH - DONE
I had three strips of bacon with my dinner tonight. I would like to have had more but each strip cost like a buck at Whole Foods so I didn't.

SEE AN OCEAN - DONE
I saw the Pacific Ocean at sunset with B and the dogs. It was windy as shit.

TRY ON AN APPLE WATCH - DONE
I did and now I want one. Specifically this one.

WEAR SHORTS - DONE
Yup. I wore navy blue sweatshorts all day long. I was very cold.

FINISHING MEMORIZING "HOW FAR I'LL GO" FROM MOANA - DONE
After my shower this morning I'm probably at least as good as Steph Curry.

CALL MY DAD - DONE
Please see below.

READ - DONE
I got through a chapter and a half of Babycakes by Armistead Maupin.

STRETCH - DONE
I stretched after my run because #badknees.

BUY A SHIRT - NOT DONE
I shopped for a shirt to buy but I didn't pull the trigger because I can't decide which of these gems I wanna wear to the Pride Run this year.

In addition to this list of stuff above I ate dim sum with Bevan, watched kids be horrible at karaoke at Sid's school and purchased all of the ingredients to make Patches' new cancer diet as recommended by our holistic dog doctor. All and all, I'd say I'm pretty much incredible at not going to work.

A Comprehensive List of the Things That I Would Like to Do on My Day off Today

I took the day off from work today because I totally deserve it (obvi) and below is a list of things that I would like to do with my extra hours.

  • pet a dog
  • go on a run
  • eat bacon, preferably as a side or in a sandwich
  • see an ocean
  • try on an Apple Watch
  • wear shorts
  • finish memorizing "How Far I'll Go" from Moana
  • call my dad
  • read
  • stretch
  • buy a shirt